How to Praise Your Child: Empowering Words for Building Self-Esteem
Praising children – it may seem so simple! However, it’s important to recognize that the words we use don’t just provide a sense of accomplishment and recognition, they also play a crucial role in fostering a child’s self-esteem. So, dear parents, how can you praise your child in a way that truly strengthens their self-confidence?
Move Beyond Judgment-Based Praise
It’s easy to fall into the habit of offering praise based on subjective judgments such as,
“What a beautiful drawing!”
or
“Such a good boy!”
While these compliments are well-meaning, they can inadvertently send the message that a child’s worth is determined by meeting our expectations or simply pleasing us. The goal is to shift away from praise that focuses only on the outcome, and instead, embrace a more thoughtful approach.
Focus on What You Observe
A great way to praise is to describe what you see. Instead of merely saying “Good job,” try something like,
“I see you climbing the ladder—you’re so high up!”
This method helps the child focus on their actions and progress, and it ensures that they feel recognized for their efforts without attaching an evaluation. Simply noting what’s happening in the moment helps them understand that their actions are valued.
Highlight Effort and Commitment
Another powerful approach is to recognize the effort and dedication a child puts into a task. Praise the process rather than just the outcome. For instance, “I could see how much concentration you put into this task” emphasizes their hard work and focus. This not only nurtures their sense of achievement but also reinforces the idea that persistence and effort are just as important as the final result.
Ask for Details and Show Genuine Interest
Engage with your child by asking questions that invite them to share more about their thought process. For example,
“How did you do that?”
or
“Wow, you came up with that on your own?”
Showing curiosity about how your child thinks, solves problems, and approaches challenges empowers them. It communicates that you are genuinely interested in their ideas and capabilities, further reinforcing their sense of self-worth and competence.
Let Your Child Teach You
Instead of always offering praise first, try letting your child take the lead. Ask them to teach you how they did something or show you a skill they have mastered. You could say,
“Wow, you’re going to teach me that? I want to try it too!”
This not only fosters a sense of pride in the child but also creates an opportunity for them to feel confident in their abilities and feel valued as a teacher. This type of praise strengthens their belief in themselves and their skills.
Small Changes, Big Impact
By making small adjustments to the way we communicate with children, we can go beyond just motivating and bringing joy. Thoughtful praise can play a key role in nurturing their self-belief and sense of worth. With the right words, you’re not only celebrating their achievements, but you’re also building a strong foundation for their confidence and emotional well-being.
How are things with you? Do you have any personal insights or experiences on this matter? Feel free to share them below.
